Day Thirty: I DID IT! (And Boy Was I Pissy!)

Ok, so if you thought I was mad on Mustard Day, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!  I was so mad on my 30th day that I literally didn’t go to work, I laid in bed crying for hours on end (when I wasn’t rushing to the bathroom to have yet ANOTHER bowel movement), the sound of voices made me want to scream with anger, I wanted to hit everyone who came within 20 feet of me, and I felt like I was losing my flippin’ marbles.  I didn’t even put this post up that day because I was so angry that I feared I would type things I would regret.  Plus I TOTALLY didn’t feel like posting!  For those of you who know me, this is NOT how I usually feel or operate.  I’m usually the one in the crowd who makes people laugh, tries to help everyone feel included and does everything possible to create a happy and comfortable environment around myself.

Yeahhhhhhh … this was not my normal M.O. on day 30.

Ah, detox.  It’s a beautiful thing!  NOT!!!

See, I’m so looking forward to being DONE with detox, but not so much the actual detoxification process.  I’m VERY excited because I’ll be starting a 2-week green juice fast as soon as I order some liquid zeolite and a greens juicer, but I’ve still got some investigating to do.  Well, not for the zeolite, I already know which brand I’m gonna buy;  I’ve just got to wait on a tax refund before I can go forward and actually purchase the stuff.

It’s funny.  I’ve never really WANTED to do a juice fast, and I don’t know if it’s all the cacao I’ve eaten or if it’s just that I’ve been raw for 30 days now, it’s just … I can’t explain it.  Hmmmm ….  Ok, I think this is the perfect way to say it.

I’m sick of eating.

No seriously.  I really am.  I feel like tired of chewing and tired of carrying around all this excess weight, and tired of the way I feel and just UCHK!  Even though I feel so much lighter and happier than I did, now I feel REALLY in tune with where I am and what I need to do, and how much weight is still on me.  Does that make sense?  Oh!  I’ve got it.  Have you ever been carrying something around for awhile, and after a bit, you don’t notice that you’ve got it on you anymore.  But it does slowly wear on you.  Then, after you put it down, trying to pick it back up again suddenly seems like … like impossible!  That’s what I feel like.  Like I’m aware of the excess weight now, and I just can’t WAIT to be done with it!!!

Anyhow, that’s my little existential rant.  This journey has been just a BLAST and a half, and sharing this with all of you has been a real pleasure.  Look for GoRawNotCrazy.com in the next few months, and lots of free recipes, ideas, articles, videos and more about how to go and stay raw.  I don’t think I’ll ever eat this much chocolate in consecutive days ever again, but it sure was fun!  Look for tomorrow’s post about what I learned in these last 30 days.  Later!

Day Seven: Weigh-In & Super DUPER Superfoods Delivery!

So I was tired a lot today and took a long nap – almost 3 hours, took Miko to the dentist (yippee, he gets to keep his tooth!) and our delivery from Ultimate Superfoods came!!!  We got 5 pounds of cacao powder, 1 pound of cacao butter, 6.6 pounds of goji berries, 5 pounds of maca, a litre of clear agave, 1 pound of powdered agave inulin, and 5 pounds of Peruvian mesquite.  I waited until everyone was home to open it, so we could open and enjoy our first big delivery as a family.  Miko joined in, too, and we all were sticking our fingers into everything and tasting it straight out of the bag.  Then Jahn brought a few bowls and spoons into the living room and Jason started mixing little concoctions.  The best was the straight cacao with agave — tasted like the filling in a chocolate-dipped truffle!  Unbelievable!  Never had cacao of that quality before.  So intensely flavored that we had to use less to get the same effect.  And WOW does it give me energy!!!  I’m LOVIN’ it!!!  (No McDonald’s reference intended.)

Breakfast was a shake (what else?) and Miko almost guzzled his.  He’s just finding out about the joys of superfoods, even though he’s tried going raw a few before and has been doing green smoothies for some time.  We split a bit of our huge order up with him, so he will go home with maca, goji, cacao and mesquite.

Lunch was a salad and a chocolate candy for dessert, and dinner was just 3 dates with almond butter.  I can’t believe how little I need now!  I also had a few handfuls of trail mix that consisted of goji, raisins and pecans.

Weigh-in was a JOY!  No, seriously!!!  I went down 8 pounds in 7 days!!!  I’m now at 220.7 pounds (started this “diet” at 228.6).  I’ve lost 1 pants size and almost all of my back pain is gone, my knees and ankles no longer hurt, and I’m sleeping about 5-6 hours a night, with a small nap every other day or so (except for todays long one).  So far so good!  I LOVE CHOCOLATE!!!

Raw Chocolate Addict: A Brief Diet History of Lori J. Bayne

So here I be … the nut job that has decided to eat nothing but raw chocolate for 30 days … just to see what happens!  Now granted, even though I could probably get away, both sanity-wise and health-wise, with just plain, straight-up cacao beans (they are nutrient-packed little superguys!), I’m going to mix it up a bit – just cause I wanna.  I’ll be using recipes that I created for my upcoming book, “Go Raw, Not Crazy© – with Chocolate”, and eating from every single chocolate recipe in the book at least twice during these 30 days.  That’s right!  Chocolate candy, chocolate milkshakes, chocolate cake, chocolate frosting, chocolate candy bars, chocolate truffles, chocolate filled candies, chocolate pies, chocolate smoothies, chocolate milk, chocolate cookies, chocolate ice cream, chocolate cheesecake, chocolate chips … and anything else that strikes my fancy … provided it has raw cacao in the recipe, and all the other ingredients are raw, too.

So why am I doing this?  Well, ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been interested in magic, whether it be tricks, cures, beans (Jack & the Bean Stalk) or anything else.  And in my 39 years, I’ve tried every flippin’ “magic” diet on the planet.  Any diet that promised that I could eat chocolate and lose weight got my attention.  But every time I tried them, they either had artificial sweeteners, which made me sick, or gluten, which I’m allergic to — and they ALL had cocoa processed with alkali!

And frankly, they tasted like crap!

Grainy, crumbly, bitter, fake tasting and just plain nasty.  AND, if I DID lose weight, I gained it all back and then some when I stopped gagging down the “food”.

So here’s the deal.  I want to see if I can “magically” lose weight on a chocolate diet that I create for myself.  I’m not a doctor, I’m not a nutritionist, and I’m not some exercising know-it-all.  I just know that I can lose weight on raw cacao because I’ve already lost some weight, just incorporating it into my diet.  I know that when I eat it with maca, I feel so energized that I want to go roller skating like I did when I was 9!  I know that it’s super-dense in nutrients, great for my mood and lots & lots of fun.  And I know that it’s a healthy food — WHEN it’s not processed or cooked.  I’ve lost almost 90 pounds already (and have lost the last 30 using raw foods).  I’ve read David Wolfe’s book, Naked Chocolate, and have been thrilled to find that not only is raw cacao better tasting than the standard chocolate on the market, I don’t get any icky side effects from it like I do from pasteurized milk, high fructose corn syrup, invert sugar or any other massively processed, chemically altered, denuded-of-nutrients shell of a food.

So if it gives me bio-available protein, heart-healthy fat, I know that I’m not gonna fall asleep from carb overload or get the caffeine jitters like the cooked stuff, there’s no sugar high or crash (because I sweeten it with bananas, raw agave, dates, yacon syrup or raw honey), and I’ve got over 20 recipes to choose from to avoid boredom, what could the drawbacks be?  Come follow my progress as I find out if a person can happily and healthily eat essentially nothing but chocolate for 30 days.  I’m sure it’s gonna be one heckuva ride!!!

By the way, I’m not recommending that anyone else try this diet.  So if you try it and get sick or unhappy or your mate leaves you or an elephant falls on your cat or your 2nd cousin’s ear falls off, I have to say for legal reasons, that’s not my fault.  All material on this blog is provided for information and entertainment purposes only and may not be construed as medical advice or instruction. No action or inaction should be taken based solely on the contents of this information; instead, readers should consult appropriate health professionals on any matter relating to their health and well-being.  So there.